Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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