real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
