I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
