yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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