Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
