You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
