you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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