If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
