Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
