chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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