you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize