Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
