take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
