There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
