were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
