you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
