after a month anything with tits is on the radar
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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