the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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