the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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