You really coming over, don't trick.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
