So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
