Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
