Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I want to be your penis for a week.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
