I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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