My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
