Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
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I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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