This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize