Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
