I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
how drunk are you?
Several
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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