Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
