You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish my penis had a tongue
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
