Who did Billy Mays play for?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
