Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
