I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
