she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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