I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
