I met the friendliest cop last night
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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