is your mom at the bar?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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