Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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