you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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