Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
