I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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