ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
