I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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