summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
