I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it's like iHOP with fire
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
