Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
