i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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