I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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