well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
