I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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