Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
