Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
