Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
