I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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