Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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