Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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