I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
