I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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