Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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